How to Have a Happy Divorce Process

February 4, 2022
Cassie Palmer
Anton Garcia Law, Christina Anton Garcia, Collaborative Divorce, Family Law

Nearly half of every two marriages will end in divorce. Hopefully this will comfort you, as you are never alone. Not only are we here for you but also, each spouse can be there for and support each other through this tough time. The best way that partners can support each other is by taking steps towards a happy divorce.

A ‘happy’ divorce isn’t a perfect one. A happy divorce is one that is cooperative, communicative and healthy. Here are some tips based on our experience as divorce lawyers that will help you have a smooth and fruitful divorce process:

Step 1: Realize that no one is to blame.

It is too easy to blame each other for the failure of your marriage, choose instead to focus your energy on the fact that you’ve decided to take a step in the right direction, and the factors that led to this point don’t matter anymore. Every issue, fight and incompatibility is now in your rearview, and you should instead choose to look in the direction you’re moving: forward.

Step 2: Focus on the big picture.

It’s easy to get lost in the details. But when you actively choose to focus on the big picture by taking the time to figure out what’s most important to you – your wants, needs and non-negotiables. Focusing on what’s most important – like your children and your future – instead of fighting over past transgressions will exponentially increase your chances of achieving a desirable outcome.

Step 3: Be open and honest.

When each spouse openly discloses all assets, debts, income, tax returns, and bank accounts to paint a complete picture of what needs to be discussed, divided and resolved, you will encourage negotiations that will build and maintain a trust that will help end your marriage peacefully.

Step 4: Put your family first.

This may seem counterintuitive when divorce feels like it flies in the face of your hopes for your family. But while your marital relationship with each other may not have worked, you have other invaluable relationships to maintain – namely your parental relationship with one another and your respective relationships with your children. And when you choose to put your family first, you can continue to cooperatively determine what’s best for your children, married or not.

Step 5: Try your best to stay positive.

Happiness begets happiness. So even in the darkest moments when happiness seems distant at best and impossible at worst, choose to have faith that everything will be alright – because it will – and seek out things that bring you joy. It may seem overly simplistic, but it’s often all too easy to allow yourself to circle the drain, lost in negative thoughts and patterns. A happy person – or at least one who actively pursues thoughts and actions that bring joy – will be a happy divorcee.