How to Come to Peace with Your Divorce in 2020

How to Come to Peace with Your Divorce in 2020

For some people, a divorce can be a good thing. They handle things civilly and are able to move forward and co-exist. For others, that’s not the case. It’s stressful, emotionally taxing, tense, and difficult before, during, and after the divorce. And, when kids are in the equation, things become even more complicated and stressful. 


The inner turmoil that you feel on a daily basis can be debilitating and these feelings of uncertainty, unease, and sometimes anger are all common. 


But, with the start of a new year, comes a plethora of opportunities to grow, come to terms with the divorce, and move on. 


In this blog post, we’ll be covering five tips that’ll help you put your best foot forward to finally come to peace with your divorce. 


Stay Calm


A big part of coming to peace with your divorce is your ability to resist falling into bad habits. At its core, divorce is an emotional life event. It’s the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new, unknown chapter in people’s lives. And, while everyone has their reasons for divorce, sometimes, it just boiled down to two people not being able to get along. If your ex was notorious for pushing your buttons until you lost your cool when you were married, do not give him/her that same power now that you’re divorced. Remember, you are in charge of your emotions and in order to stay calm, you need to acknowledge what they’re doing, check your reaction, and do your best to remain level-headed. 


Get Closure


A divorce can be like an open wound. If we don’t give it the care and attention it needs to heal, it’ll keep reopening and the process will have to start again. It’s a very raw and real time in a person’s life and when change occurs, it’s only natural to second guess ourselves and constantly think about the situation. Many people look back at everything that was and question if it was their fault? Should they have done it? What if keeps us in the past and holds us back from moving forward. The healthiest thing you can do is finally find closure. Whether it comes from a heart-to-heart with your ex or you take it upon yourself to finally close that chapter of your life, closure is necessary to finally let that wound heal for good. 


Let Go and Move On


Moving on is easier said than done. When we get a divorce, we’re losing a part of our history. Years of our lives have been devoted to this one person and while those feelings can be overwhelming, we have to be able to let that baggage and those thoughts go once and for all. Give yourself the space to recount the memories, but give yourself permission to let them go, too. Keep the past in the past and don’t carry it with you in your future. 


Learn Something New


Putting yourself first and creating a constructive outlet to release frustration is one of the best ways to not only come to peace with your divorce but be at peace…period. Life after a break-up provides a newfound sense of freedom and a clean slate that gives you the space to start a new hobby. Whether it’s rock climbing, yoga, or taking a photography class, getting outside of your comfort zone and trying something new is a great way to reconnect with yourself, meet new people, and feel a sense of accomplishment. Remember, life is all about experiences and you owe it to yourself, in this new chapter of your life, to try new things and get back to doing what you love.


Be Grateful


Though it might seem counterintuitive to be thankful that you’re divorced, showing gratitude for the lessons that you learned and the future ahead puts you one step closer to joy and being the best version of yourself. It’s not uncommon to lose yourself in a marriage and in a divorce. But realizing that you now have the opportunity to grow is an empowering feeling. While it’s easy to look at the end through a negative lens, challenge yourself to see the end of your marriage as a gift. Be grateful for the time you spent with your ex, the lessons that you learned, and the new opportunity you have to move forward and pursue the happiness you deserve. 


If you need guidance and advice through your divorce proceedings, we can help. Contact us today.