Our Number One Piece of Advice for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

On average a victim of narcissistic abuse will attempt to leave the relationship 7 times prior to being successful. This is because the cycle of abuse leaves victims feeling confused yet often hopeful for change.  Therefore, the single best thing a victim of narcissistic abuse can do to avoid this dilemma is to educate themselves on narcissistic personality disorder. Learning and educating yourself will help you avoid falling for old tricks, and it can also be very healing. 

 

Why Is Educating Yourself So Important? 

A narcissist’s goal is to leave their victims questioning themselves and feeling isolated. Therefore, many victims leave their relationship feeling very confused and full of self-doubt. 

Additionally, narcissists master the art of manipulation and can make emotionally damaging actions come off rather innocent to an outsider. This causes even more self-doubt and causes victims to question if others may even believe them.

This is why learning about the patterns of narcissistic abuse is so important. Validation is everything, and education truly is power. Learning about the cycle of narcissistic abuse can keep victims from constantly going back to old patterns.  

Educating oneself can help validate feelings that are often dismissed by narcissistic abusers, and even close ones in some instances. The more a victim can educate themselves, the more empowered and confident they can feel moving forward.  

 

Resources for Learning About Narcissistic Abuse

1. Books

One in particular we recommend is Should I Stay or Should I Go? by Ramani Durvasala. This book gives a great overview of many tactics and patterns of narcissistic abuse.

Another book we recommend is Becoming The Narcissists Nightmare, by Shahida Arabi. This book can teach others how to move on and get rid of the narcissist in their life. 

These are just two of many great books on the topic. Reading and hearing other people’s stories can also allow victims to recognize that they are not alone, and that healing is capable. 

 

2. Online Resources

Rebecca Zung, Esquire is known for her specialization in handling narcissism. She has many great videos that cover many topics related to narcissism. Her videos cover the basics of narcissism; How to Outsmart the Narcissist, and How to Disarm a Narcissist. Additionally, she has a blog with many other great articles that discuss narcissism and how to overcome narcissistic abuse. 

 

3. Support Groups

There are many great support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse. These can be a great resource for victims, especially in times where they feel most isolated. Support groups can help validate the concerns and feelings of victims that were once dismissed.

Additionally, hearing stories from other victims can help reaffirm that a victim is not alone. Different options for support groups will differ based on where you live. Victims can find support groups through a church, or other religious institution, or a referral from a mental health counselor.  

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Overcoming narcissistic abuse takes time. This can require a lot of patience, self-reflection, and a strong support group, however, it is possible. As such, one of the most important things one can do is educate themselves on the patterns of abuse.